


Distract Our Hearts

by DefaltManifesto



Series: 30 Day Song Lyric Challenge [30]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Angst, Biting, Emotionally Repressed, M/M, Rough Sex, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 09:33:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13210950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: He desires intimacy and isolation and he can’t give Geoffrey anything but mixed signals which is why this whole thing is a fucking mistake.





	Distract Our Hearts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scepticallyopenminded](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scepticallyopenminded/gifts).



> I'm actually super sad this challenge is ending. This was really fun. Thank you to scepticallyopenminded for doing this with me!! 
> 
> Also, I don't know if you can tell from the last three fics but clearly I'm listening to a lot of The Weeknd lol sorry. 
> 
> Today's fic is based on the following lyric from Youth by Daughter (a fantastic song): 
> 
> "Setting fire to our insides for fun"
> 
> I chose to interpret this as the whole you know, self-sabotaging thing. I really wanna write more of these two cuz I think they're an interesting pairing. Title is from the same song.

Volke likes to think he has a heart. It’s a comforting thought even if he’s not genuinely foolish enough to think that his good deeds outweigh his bad ones. But he likes to think he had some hand in shaping the world’s greatest general into who he was, and he did help take down a corrupt goddess so clearly somewhere deep down he has some will to contribute positively to the world.

The problem is, his career choice doesn’t leave much room to have a heart. His work is his choice and he could quit if he wanted given that the poverty that had pushed him into the work in the first place is gone. He’s got enough money to retire comfortably. Despite that, he keeps doing what he does best, almost out of habit. He has a heart, sure, but it’s emotional capacity is a muscle he hasn’t used in a long time. It leaves him with a feeling of inadequacy he hasn’t felt in a long time when Geoffrey starts to express his affections.

It had started as a matter of relief. Days spent fighting to keep Renning’s demon-possessed body in control left them both with pent up anger and frustration. Geoffrey handled it worse than Volke had. Volke was a friend of his darker thoughts, but Geoffrey had too much honor and goodness in him to cope with that level of irritation gracefully. He’s always had disdain for Volke which makes him the perfect person to take it all out on and Volke welcomes it, happy for the distraction of another body that at least has the decency to make him feel good instead of nearly killing him like Renning.

As far as Volke’s…romantic…encounters go it starts fairly standard. They fuck and leave bruises on each other, ignore one another except for when they need help to restrain Renning, and then fall back into bed together the moment they have a break. But Geoffrey can’t leave it at that. His honor gets in the way. Volke’s pretty sure it’s guilt that makes Geoffrey think he has to love Volke if they’re going to fuck but he tolerates Geoffrey’s tender affections after they come because he knows how it’ll end.

And it does, once the world is put to rights again. Volke goes back to his life and Geoffrey his queen and that should be the end of it except four months later, Volke responds to a request from one of his contacts that there’s someone willing to hire his services. He enters the windowless room his contacts have for him in the backs of their taverns and finds Geoffrey staring at him.

“I’m not a whore,” Volke says, tugging his mask down as he takes a seat across form him. “The services you can buy from me are assassinations and tracking, not sex.”

Geoffrey’s lips curl in disgust. “You don’t have to be that vulgar.”

Volke stares at him and doesn’t give him a response. Geoffrey sighs.

“I wanted to see you again. This was the only way I knew how given that not even Bastian can track you,” Geoffrey says.

“Shouldn’t you be marrying Elincia?” Volke asks.

“We…we didn’t,” Geoffrey says. “I couldn’t in good conscience when all I think of is you.”

Volke mulls it over. It’s been awhile since he’d had sex and while he’d like to pretend he had better ethics, he’s not above taking advantage of Geoffrey’s weird hang ups. “Fine, let’s get it out of your system.”

Geoffrey surprises him by asking to be fucked. They’ve never done it that way and Volke knows that Geoffrey deserves more than having his first time being bent over a table in the back of some tavern because even if he annoys him, Geoffrey is a good person. He can’t bring himself to care.

At least that’s what he tells himself. That reveals itself to be a lie pretty quickly when he’s fingering Geoffrey open and Geoffrey’s knees buckle. They’ve done a lot, but they’ve never really been vulnerable with each other and Volke _knows_ he’s gotten under Geoffrey’s skin before even if Geoffrey didn’t let him see it. But now, Geoffrey is all soft noises and barely held together pleasure as Volke stretches him open. It scratches at something within Volke that he doesn’t quite know how to deal with.

The desire to protect. He’s never really had that before, not for Greil, not for Ike, not for anyone.

When he pushes inside, his instinct is to hold back but the need to hold himself away physically and emotionally capitulates when Geoffrey’s fingers curl on top of the table. He gives in and presses along his back, forehead pressing to the space between Geoffrey’s broad shoulders. Geoffrey shakes beneath him and clenches down around his cock. Volke bites his lip against the noise he wants to make, because it’s just a step too far to let Geoffrey hear how affected he is, and pulls out slow enough to make Geoffrey feel every inch of him. He thrusts in again just as slow and something in his chest breaks apart when Geoffrey whimpers.

“Volke…” Geoffrey says. “I…I’m never going to get you out of my system, not when you feel…”

“Shut up,” Volke says, and the words are harsh when all he wants to do is turn Geoffrey over and kiss him.

Geoffrey listens to him even though Volke doesn’t want him to. It’s his own damn fault. He desires intimacy and isolation and he can’t give Geoffrey anything but mixed signals which is why this whole thing is a fucking mistake.

He screams at himself to be rough, but all he can give Geoffrey is something tender, a gentle roll of his hips that has Geoffrey rocking back against him with these soft gasps. Volke can’t see his face. It’s probably for the best, because if he could see what was more than likely an open and vulnerable expression on his face, he’d lose the last of his resolve and give in to the tiny part of him he thought he’d suppressed more than a decade ago.

Geoffrey comes untouched, squeezing down around Volke’s cock with a cry of his name. Volke bites at the pale skin beneath him, hard enough to bruise, as he fucks into him a few more thrusts and then spills. For a long moment, neither of them move. The only sound is their heavy pants and Volke closes his eyes, drinking in the feeling of having someone else so close to him and cataloguing the feeling of being on the brink of connecting with another person.

“Volke-“

Volke pulls out and moves to start pulling on his clothes. “Don’t call for my services again.”

He walks out before Geoffrey can convince him to stay.

 

-.-

 

Two months later, Volke receives word of another client asking for the Fireman. He steps inside the back room and Geoffrey stares back at him.

He tells himself to leave. There’s nothing down this path but pain, his unmovable façade and Geoffrey’s unstoppable desire to be with him honestly and truly.

Volke stays.


End file.
